An entrance description should be ONLY what people see with a quick peripheral glance at you. Don’t put anything that people cannot discern immediately (such as inactive powers, hidden weapons, who gave you that ring, your Clan, or what color your underwear is, if the char even wears any). 

 

Annoying descriptions (too long, excess graphics, etc) are a KICKABLE OFFENSE because they flood the channel. We can help you edit your descriptions if you ask us. 

 

If you simply HAVE to share more details, put some kind of "Message me for more info" blurb in your description, then send it in private message to other players who want it. 

 

Another effective way to convey an extensive description is to create a web page with more information and post the URL in your description. Do not reveal on that page or in your popups, things people shouldn't know such as your Character Genre.

 

[2] TYPOS & OTHER MISTAKES:

Please proofread your stuff!  

This isn't typed live, so please edit your misspellings and screw ups. This entrance is your first impression, how others view your character, and it shows laziness and disrespect to yourself and to other players who have to read it, to post a bunch of illegible garbage. The purpose of the popup is to concisely convey important information about your character to others, and if they can’t read it or understand it, you waste your time and ours posting it. 

Please refer to the posted web sites that depict the location you are in (usually in the channel topic, or on the Maps & Tours page) for details on expected IC behavior and dress. Your character is expected to dress appropriately to the venue in which they are present at all times, or else to suffer the consequences IC.

Also note, unless you have Resources 0 as a BG, you should have more than one change of clothes. Please RP accordingly.

 

[4] HOW TO DESIGN A CHARACTER DESCRIPTION:

As stated above, a good description evokes a first impression others get of your PC when they first encounter it entering an area. Things that would be obvious quickly would be such things as apparent age, hair color, eye color, skin color (apparent race), build/weight, height, clothing, larger accessories, items carried outside the pockets, and jewelry. Presence is an appropriate stat to include. 

Do not type stupid crap in your descriptions, such as:.

• Amazonian Redheads (massively overdone. A city of "Dawn" clones. goody.); 

• Females with huge firm tits (overdone, and in the case of the grooming and health habits of some PC's, damned near impossible without breast lifting surgery); 

• Swords and other obvious large weapons in cities; details of tiny pieces of jewelry we can hardly see from across the room (can you read the writing on someone's ring at even 7 feet away? I can't); 

• Details of something hidden in your pocket (Don't be a retard. It's HIDDEN!); 

• AD&D clothing in a modern setting (if you didn't buy the Anachronism flaw); 

• Dressing like a complete bondage whore for a normal street scene; 

• Misusing common homophones every 6th grader knows (to/too/two, there/their/they're, hear/here, an/and, your/you're, etc.); 

• Exotic animals or other pets in a modern city setting (I bring my pet owl into the exclusive nightclub. Uh... no.);

• Saying "Doc Martins" (if you don't know why this is stupid crap, take it out of your description entirely until you learn why.)

 

If you read the example descriptions below, and you shake your head and say, "I don't get what's wrong with them," then you need to ask for ST help in how to write.

 

EXAMPLES OF VERY BAD DESCRIPTIONS:

(Please also refer to our RP Workshop #8 on Dictionary/Thesaurus Rape for more examples of what not to do)

Arena Spears: Arena has ruby red hair and soft brown eyes she looks as though she is a lost child in some ways.

Celeste duLac: is 5’5” 130 lb. truly however she hunches over she has dirt red hair which is so dirty you think it is black she has sad green eyes and is the ugliest thing you could ever imagine seeming how she is a vampire that is a Nosferatue.

Cercy: Is 6’0” 160 lb. she has flame red hair and China blue eyes. She has blood red lips naturally and is attracted to anything that sparkles like a diamond. She is a vampire, which is a Toreador.

Diamond: Is 6’1” 175 Lb. long brown hair and angry green eyes she is tall and strong she is built to be a fighter and that is what she does with a passion. Diamond is a werewolf and a Black Fury at that.

Jessica Tippin: Is 5’4” 115 Ibs. With long blond hair and brown eyes she has long legs and is very sneaky and suspicious she is my one and only human and she is a detective at that.

Jina Wang: Is 5’3” 110 Lb. She has long brown hair and brown eyes she has small breasts. She is my one and only K.O.E and is a Thrashing Dragon

Krystial is 5’ 7” tall she has long black hair that goes to her waist. Her eyes are china blue she wears a black leather mini dress and her ears are pierced straight up to the top of her ears. She appears to be in her early 20’s. She wears a long leather trench coat over her dress both are black and she wears black leather high heal boots that go up to her thighs. When she removes her trench coat you see the brujah clan symbol tattooed on her right shoulder blade. If she sticks her tongue out at you, you will notice it is pierced. On her right wrist is a Native American turquoise charm bracelet. Around her neck is a matching necklace and on her left hand ring finger you will find a sterling silver ring with Navajo writing on it. The words inscribed will read “You will always be in my heart weather I am dead or alive”.

Lotus Flower: Her real name is Stephanie Rose she is 5’6” 140 Lb. She has long brown hair and soft seductive brown eyes she has big pouty lips and eyes that when she bats them will make any man fall to his knees she is a mage and a Cult of Ecstasy She is 5’6” with blood red hair and dark brown eyes her lips always appear to be pouting and her eyes always seem to be looking straight through you like she can see into your soul.

Myra: is 5’8” 115 Lb. Her hair is so blond that is almost is white she has soft blue eyes that also are very seductive looking she has full red lips and long legs and nails she is a mage that is also a verbena so she tends also to wear as little clothing as possible.

Rhianna: is 6’1” 160 Lb. Jet black hair and green eyes that if you ever get to look at them right you can tell look like cat eyes she also have razor sharp nails which you would swear are claws. She is a vampire and is a gangrel.

Rindsa: is 5’5” 120 Lb. Purplish red hair with brown eyes she loves to act tough and is always slinking around as quietly as a mouse. People that think she is up to something are right because she is a vampire and a Ravnos.

Sapphire Rose has waist length auburn hair and emerald green eyes. She wears a pair of tight blue jeans and a white crop top that shoes her belly ring. Sapphire might stick her tongue out at you and when she does you will notice that is pieced as well. Her ears are pierced three times and she wears diamonds in all of the holes. Her shoes are simple a pair of faded out tennis shoes.

Sarah Dubois is 5’9” she wears a black and gray striped Armani skirt suit. Her blond hair is pulled up in a French twist with wisps hanging down making her neck look long and lovely. Her blue eyes seem to have an evil glow about them. Her pail face is expressionless and your not quit sure what she is thinking. On her left shoulder she carries a black leather brief case and on her right ankle is a gold ankle bracelet. Her ears are pierced once and in that hole you will see a pair of heart shaped diamond earrings.

Sarah Salivan is 5’8” with long blond hair that frames her face. Her sparkling blue eyes seem to electrify you when you stare into them. She wears a long white gown with a slit up the sides up to her thighs showing her legs. She wears a pair of white high heals with this and a silver ankle bracelet. Around her neck she wears a matching silver necklace with a heart pendent, her ears are pierced just once and she wears a pair of diamond hearts with ruby drops on them. In her hair she wears a white Lilly and the smell of lilacs follows her around.

Selena Kyle: is 5’6” 130 Lb. Shoulder length blond hair with blue eyes she tends to seem kind of dreamy she is a werewolf and a stargazer she is also tan you can tell she is Native American.

 

Any character descriptions that look like the above, will be required to be redone until they resemble normal English.