IC News 03-01-06





By Katherine Whittier,

Special Reporter to the Washington Post


A still-unidentified terrorist cell, possibly Americans, held a sleepy pre-dawn crowd social hostage with the promise of blowing the lid off our collective reality, even more than the slowly building tsunami of unbelievable events unfolding already has.

On an anonymous tip, a gathering of select media and other witnesses hand-chosen by unknown criteria by the group, gathered in the freezing dawn at Haines Point, a well-worn peninsula park just off 395 before L'Enfant Plaza, less than a mile from the Capitol itself.

The crowd consisted of said media types; some college aged kids dressed as one would for Web of Night; and several technorati armed to the teeth with PDAs, wireless contraptions and laptops of every shape and size.

One unexpected luminati I encountered was Loki, of all people, who offered only an evasive and weak explanation of why he was amongst those chosen to show up. I also thought I saw a couple of other familiar celeb figures from back in my Kitty's Korner days, but did not take time to find out for sure who they were.

Legally, the Park was closed, but no Rangers were there to stop us from entering. There appeared to be a scant security presence of some kind, but they were keeping an eye on the crowd more so than the presenters, who were in a small, loosely paramilitary looking group near the "Awakening" statue at the end of the park.

We were brought here to cover an event supposedly so fantastic that they wanted it witnessed live, by a large enough group that it would become impossible to deny, at least by enough people to make a difference. And so, we shivered and waited to have our lives changed forever.

At about 15 minutes before sunrise, a large-built man, easily 6'3" or more, with a blackout mask on and a rifle slung over his well-muscled shoulder, steps up to the front of the crowd. He raised his fist, more at some manner of signal, than a hackneyed "power to the people" gesture. At this moment, two others, also dressed in dark clothes, proceeded to block the single opened car entrance with park junk as well as a couple of overturned vehicles. This was far enough away that some of the crowd took a long time to notice, as they were more fixed on the man now addressing them.

The man bent down into the brush nearby and hefted a reedy, almost feral looking brunette from the shadows. She was alternately snarling at the crowd like an apprehended suspect on C*O*P*S, or talking incoherently, often to herself, in a clipped and proper British accent. Interestingly, nobody in the crowd made a move to rescue the woman.

Within the crowd, a few spectators noted that while they were able to transmit data of the event pretty much unconditionally to anywhere, 9-1-1 in specific appeared to be malfunctioning. This precluded anyone involving law enforcement without physically walking all the way off the island to see if they could get signal or find the rare payphone while crossing the I-395 bypass.

While the crowd murmured in distraction, one of the terrorists fired 5 rounds from a Kalashnikov into the air, bringing all eyes up front again.

Several in the restless crowd complained that there was no vampire to be seen, and the man with the prisoner up front tossed a bumpy, grey and red streaked lump of flesh at them, which gets a mixed reaction. The prisoner started to hiss dramatically at bystanders and threatened to attack them, ranting on incoherently.

A thinner-built terrorist, possibly female from their shape, grabbed the fleshy thing that was tossed down, and holds it up, red rivulets of what seemed to be blood, trickling down his or her wrist. This person grabbed a stick from the ground and proceeded to stab it into what looks like a human heart, just as the prisoner woman bites one of the bystanders, who screamed as others try to pull her off without getting bitten themselves. At the same moment this happened, the attacking woman suddenly went completely limp and quiet, but her eyes were still open, trickles of fresh blood still on her lips.

A disbeliever in the crowd shouted, "You sick bastards! All that proves is you guys should be in prison!" To which the leader replies, "It proves you're too stupid to listen." As they argued, a slim woman darted through the crowd to the fallen reporter, pulled out a cross and placed her hands on him. She spoke a few words in what sound like Latin, and the man's neck wounds suddenly vanished. The Post did capture this amazing footage on camera and live feed.

A young, olive skinned boy took the woman's Rosary and placed it on the brunette's forehead as she laid prone and quiet. As it touched her flesh, her skin sizzled as if it were being seared, the air suddenly redolent with the reek of rotten burnt pork. Wisps of smoke rose from her brow, upon which was now embedded, a cross shaped burn mark. Straight out of the movies.

The healer woman rises now, addressing the crowd. "Believe in all you see here this day, the good Lord has deemed that the truth be known.. Watch, when the sun arises my Child." and with that she returns to a small group gathered by a black SUV at the back.

The leader checked the large chronograph strapped to his wrist. "For those of you who still aren't buying, the show finishes in about five minutes. Hope you have plenty of film." Behind him, to the east, one could see the first vestiges of dawn creeping up over the tree line, giving the sky a mottled grey, pink and purple glow.

The smaller terrorist, still holding the heart with the stick poked through it, tossed it up to the leader at this point. He held it aloft and called out to the crowd, "Now that I have your full attention..." just as the first rays of the sun shot out from behind the dilapidated clubhouse and onto the gathering of people, including the woman's prone body. The man removed the stick from the heart, and the woman sat up immediately. As the crowd started and moved back from her, her skin, where exposed to the sun, began to smolder and break out in blackened, oozing pustules all over. Her clothing started to discolor ashen as if it had been dragged through a fireplace. She lunged after the crowd, wisps of smoke and the stink of burning flesh driving people away. The heart the man held up also suddenly began to smoke and blister when exposed to the sun.

The woman's face began to bubble openly now, and almost all of her exposed skin was quickly turning as black as overdone bacon. At this point, this reporter was overcome and had to stop observing for a few minutes due to personal distress. Somewhere about this point in time, the police finally arrived, but were off in the distance trying to make their way through the blocked gate and the hysterical crowd, now vacating on foot or driving over the grass and cement-enclosed medians.

The leader tossed the smoking heart into the air above the crowd, and it peppered the nearest of them with ashes as it powdered to nothing in mid-flight. He then took off into the chaos of the fleeing crowd, lost in the panic as he made his retreat. As our news crew began to pack up, the dying vampire made one last effort, grabbing hold of my ankles as I knelt, gagging, her very hands cindering before her and mere claws as they grasped my foot. The sun, now fully ablaze, finished her off, covering my shoes and hose in a rancid smelling ash, all that remained of the display before us. I must admit at this point, I did scream, but I was far from alone in my terror.

Someone from the crowd came and grabbed a handful of her ashes on the way out, for reasons I don't care to speculate upon in a reputable paper. We spent the remainder of the morning compiling this story for publication and being debriefed by DCPD, who made no attempts to deny what had occurred. In fact, several officers even on record, were heard to have said they've seen other strange occurrences that have previously been hushed up to prevent city-wide panic, but in light of recent events the unofficial department policy has shifted in essence to "Why bother now?"

It is this reporter's experience that after this morning, we have reached the point where plausible deniability will no longer serve; far too much has happened that cannot simply be covered up or explained away. What it ultimately means for Washington, for Americans, for the world, I leave for the politicians and theologians to decide.



Local Self Professed "Monster-Hunter" Duo Out Roster of Supernatural Targets -  A pair of local, self-styled "Monster Hunters," identified to The Post  as "Ted" of Lovettsville, VA, and Jennifer, of Washington, DC, arranged for an interview in what they say is an attempt to save lives and "take back the night" by exposing what they know of supernatural activity in DC and surrounding areas.

On the condition that they would be allowed to speak freely and without the threat of arrest, the pair wanted to take advantage of the building doubts and fears in the public's collective mind as to "the world as we know it," to try and make people aware of what they claim is the extensive supernatural presence not only in Washington, but supposedly worldwide.

As they framed it, the more the masses know of their notion of the truth, the better armed people would be to defend themselves against this threat.

The hunters met with a Post reporter outside DC, in a small biker's diner up Route 15 North in Maryland. The pair were simply and practically dressed, as one might expect given their "line of work." They blended right in, and could be anyone you casually passed on the streets.

They were quick to speak somewhat disparagingly of their dealings with other people regarding their hunting practices. "We deal with the truth every day of our lives, the real world the way it is," said Jennifer. "We didn't ask for this insight, but we have it. They're all around you and we are out there, in the shadows, fighting the good fight for the ungrateful, and you people thank us by calling us crazy, putting us in jail or in asylums or trying to drug us into silencing the ugly truth, or punishing us for the truth we keep every day from kicking your asses, as if we were responsible for its existence somehow."

Ted adds, in his forthright, ominous drawl, "Your average Joe on the street is ignorant. Blind, happy livin' a lie. But God forbid somethin' actually comes after you! Then you come lookin' for our help, all smiles and desperation, pretendin' like now you're ready to believe your own eyes and ears." He paused, becoming restless as he interjected, "This is your last chance to wake up, DC; if you don't wanna take it, you deserve to be prey to these unholy bastards. You play ostrich; you're part of the problem. That makes you a liability. I'm doin' what I gotta do, because I can and someone's got to take back the night. Anyone gets in my way, they can join 'em."

According to these hunters, DC is by no means unique in that it is home to several types of supernatural entities, including vampires, werewolves, wizards, ghosts and demons. They say that many unusual and unexplained bizarre events in the news were the work of one or even more of these beings, and was hushed up either by them or their agents, or law enforcement concerned that the truth would cause uncontrollable panic in the streets, much akin to the state of things in Washington during Black November and leading to now.

The pair claims credit for the firebombing of a modest pool hall called "Rabble" in Southeast Washington a few months ago. They say they've witnessed that vampires and their human minions were using it as a meeting place on a regular basis, but that their "Hunter Powers" helped them keep under the creatures' radar. They deny setting the previous blaze two years ago, though, which shut down the club for several months to undergo renovations, and suggest the vampires might have done it themselves in a quarrel or by accident. The hall is now permanently closed, and the owner on record could not be located.

Another supernatural enclave in Southeast, according to the hunters, is the Gothic music nightclub called Web of Night. Hounded for years by unusual and unexplained events, many quite destructive, since its opening a few years ago, this club has been a nexus for a plethora of mysterious events that were explained as show business, related to drinking or drug use, or dramatics common amongst those of that subculture.

But the hunters paint a different story; that nearly all the events reported concerning The Web have a more sinister side that the city has ignored to now. The pair insist that they could out or destroy dozens of supernatural creatures simply by destroying this venue, as it is one of the most insidious havens for all kinds of beings that prey on the patrons within. They imply that the only hope to contain the menace is to destroy it, but they also believe that another haven will surface in its place as long as the supernaturals roam freely in our city.

The hunters do not just target corrupted places, however; in fact their usual quarry are individual supernaturals they claim to have identified through their "gifts" and special awareness, dismissing the notion that these gifts could seem like the hunters themselves were also unnatural beings. The pair disagrees, though, on how to deal with creatures that appear to be doing no real harm to anyone else, peacefully coexisting in secret. Jennifer is more inclined to focus on the malevolent, while Ted holds more of a "kill them all; let God sort His own" stance.

They did agree, however, that one supernatural that needed removal was rising political star Aesik Baird, whose mysterious suspected death in a fire in his own home over a year ago, went unsolved until now. Apparently, Baird was one of numerous "Demons" or Fallen Angels that have come to DC in the guise of humans, and the pair witnessed him controlling enslaved mortals in public, as well as showing supernatural powers such as several of the so-called Angel sightings in the area, as well as destruction of an entire city block including Bryan's Black Iron Restaurant.

The concept of a known demonic being in a position of political power prompted the duo to destroy him just as he was pursuing nomination to the Senate. The body was never found, but Baird has been missing for over a year now, lending credibility to the claim.

The Hunters are emphatic that their deeds are for the protection of mankind, and that they are no danger to regular people. They have no intentions of turning themselves in to police for any deeds confessed in the interview, and reiterate that what they do is both necessary and impossible to run through regular means of law enforcement. They soon departed, headed for parts unknown, to continue their battle.










Protestant Taizé Religious Community Founder, beloved by Popes, Slain


By ELAINE GANLEY, Associated Press Writer
A Romanian woman slipped into a choir of singing monks during an evening prayer service and fatally slit the throat of the 90-year-old founder of an ecumenical Christian community in the presence of 2,500 horrified pilgrims in Burgundy, authorities said Wednesday.
The slaying Tuesday of Brother Roger in the Church of Reconciliation drew reactions of shock and grief from the pope, the leader of the Anglican Church and worshippers around the world.
"It happened very fast. There were some screams. We turned around. He was wounded," said Brother Emile, who witnessed the killing. "We carried him out of the church so people didn't see the terrible part. ... She slit his throat."
Brother Roger was stabbed at least twice in the neck. Bleeding profusely, he died 15 minutes later in the community house, Brother Emile said.
Tributes to the silver-haired cleric who symbolized dialogue across the Christian world poured in Wednesday to the tranquil Taizé Community, snuggled in a Burgundy village north of Lyon.
Pope Benedict XVI, who had received a letter from Brother Roger on Tuesday — the day of the killing — deplored the "very sad and terrifying news." Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, spiritual leader of the Church of England, called it "an indescribable shock."
The Taizé Community's Web site was so inundated with messages that it crashed.
Brother Roger, whose surname was Schutz, was born of a Swiss Protestant father and a French Catholic mother. He moved to Taizé in 1940 with plans to found a monastery.
He harbored Jewish refugees during the Nazi occupation of France during World War II, then built the ecumenical Taizé Community with a mission to reconcile all denominations of Christians and promote dialogue and peace.
He was among a group of 80 brothers who form the choir, positioned in a rectangle in the center of the church. The attack occurred about 8:45 p.m., some five minutes after the service got started, said Brother Emile.
The 36-year-old intruder, who was not identified by name, had visited Taizé for a week in June and was considered psychologically fragile. Brother Emile said they had learned from colleagues that she was "a very sick woman in Romania" who screamed in churches.
"We asked her not to stay," Brother Emile said in a telephone interview. She returned about two days ago, bypassing the reception area.
On Tuesday night, she jumped a small, symbolic hedge separating the choir from the congregation to join the monks. Brother Emile said brothers thought she might be the mother of one of the children. The attacker offered no resistance when she was grabbed.
The prosecutor in nearby Macon, Jean-Louis Coste, said the suspect had bought the knife the day before and her intentions were clear. "It would appear for now there is little doubt that this was premeditated since she bought a knife the day before and voluntary homicide is manifest," Coste told reporters. He said she had tried for several months to contact Brother Roger and told investigators she was trying to get his attention.
An autopsy was performed on Brother Roger on Wednesday, but results were not immediately made public.
The Taizé community appointed 51-year-old Brother Alois, a German Roman Catholic, to succeed its leader, said Brother Emile, acting as spokesman on Wednesday. Alois, born in Stuttgart, had initially been selected eight years ago by Brother Roger. He arrived in Taizé early Wednesday, called back from the huge Roman Catholic gathering under way in Cologne, Germany, known as World Youth Day.
Pilgrims at Taizé held an all-night vigil. "There was lots of emotion last night. At the same time, there was a kind of peace this morning," Brother Emile said.
"Brother Roger died as he lived, praying at the center of his community," said the World Council of Churches. The body's acting secretary general, Genevieve Jacques, said his ecumenical work "has been enormously influential."
Pope Benedict, speaking at a general audience, said that Brother Roger, in his letter to the pontiff, "expressed his desire to come to Rome as soon as possible to meet me and to tell me how the whole community of Taizé intends to walk alongside the pope."
Brother Roger was the second recipient of the $1 million Templeton Prize for Progress in Religion in 1974, a year after Mother Teresa was given the honor. "When the Nazis occupied France during World War II, Brother Roger, founder and prior (director) of the Taizé Community in France, harbored Jewish refugees," the Templeton citation said. "It was typical of Brother Roger's long history of helping the less fortunate."
The Taizé community, which the late Pope John Paul II visited in 1986, each year draws some 100,000 people, about 17 to 30 years old.
Brother Roger's funeral was set for next Tuesday.


Last Words from Antarctica -- The crew of the American Antarctic coastal station has vanished shortly after a desperate email was dispatched to Washington, DC. The text of the email was simply, “The blood gods are here.” Communications with Palmer coastal station have been similarly silent.




PUEBLA, MEXICO — "The graveyards have given up their dead!" is the cry that has been repeated over and over for the last several weeks now, starting with a hysterical voice speaking on Mexico City’s Radio Joya, station XEJP.

The station has long ago been overrun and stands now silent. Phone service to the city continues to be out, and a large portion of the city and surrounding areas now lie burned and abandoned, save hoards of shambling people roaming the city and countryside in wounded and disheveled condition, the so-called zombies that have invaded the region.

The UN dispatched teams to investigate, and the last team members to be heard from, a week ago, claimed to the home office in New York that the outrageous reports were all true. The team never returned to its scheduled rendezvous for extraction. They are presumed dead, or succumbed to the mysterious affliction that is turning the inhabitants of the Mexico City region into zombies. The problem continues to spread to neighboring regions, and may involve a country-wide contagion.



LIVE*WYRE FOUNDER AMONGST THE MURDERED IN LONDON MASSACRE -- John Wyre, CEO of Live Wyre Corp of London, was found in a remote section of public woods, along with other bodies that appear to be torn to shreds by large wild animals. Coroners are unsure of what animal could do this damage, nor what weapon.

Along with Wyre's body, several others were found, including the bodies of what appear to be wolves, and half-man/half-wolves. The local constabulary indicated that everyone at the scene had been shot with military-style ammunition, and that the murders looked like the work of professional assassins. No motive for the killings is known at this time.

Police had no comment on the incredible nature of the fallen bodies, as more and more similar reports have been accumulating all over Europe in the last two months. An unnamed source in the Coroner's Office did comment however, off record, that if he believed in such things as werewolves, that what they brought him to examine probably would have been some of such a creature, based on preliminary lab results.

Wyre's wife, Hera, has gone into seclusion.





San Diego voters approve measure to transfer the Mt. Soledad cross in landslide victory
By Lori Arnold

SAN DIEGO, Calif. —
Supporters of the Mount Soledad War Memorial and its 43-foot cross scored a significant victory July 26 when voters, by a 3-1 margin, approved a measure to transfer the parcel to the federal government in an effort to save the towering concrete symbol.
“We are so elated,” Joshua Gross, a spokesman for San Diegans for the Mount Soledad War Memorial, which spearheaded the grassroots effort that forced the special election, said the morning after the election. “There was a great outpouring of support from the city. The chief
concern (now) is let’s make sure the people’s voice is heard. We saved it from destruction last night, now let’s defend it.”
Supporters reveled in the nearly 76 percent support the cross received, that after a judge ruled a week before the election that the proposition would need at least a two-thirds margin to win.
“We were a little concerned because it took away our margin of error, but at the same time, it took away a little of the complacency that we were seeing,” Gross said. “Now it’s that much sweeter.”
Even so, supporters are keeping a wary eye on two pending court cases that could further muddy the waters. On Aug. 12 a judge will consider the constitutionality of the July 26 ballot measure, and additional cross-related arguments are to be heard before a federal judge on Aug. 15.
“It (the victory) is tempered with the realization that we go back to court next week,” said Anne Subia, a local publicist who supports the cross.
The ballot measure emerged after the city council earlier this year refused to transfer ownership of the war memorial to the federal government, which vowed to maintain it as part of the National Parks Service. The transfer would have also removed the city from the ongoing legal obligations of the 15-year battle over the constitutionality of the cross since the federal government said it would accept responsibility as part of the transfer.
Jim McElroy, the attorney who has represented atheist Philip Paulson in the protracted legal battle to remove the cross, said he believes the site is owned by the Mount Soledad Memorial Association, not the city, so therefore the ballot measure is moot.
The city twice tried to settle the constitutionality issues by selling the property to the association, which maintains the memorial and erected the cross in 1954. However a federal judge ruled in November that the city owns the site. The association is challenging that ruling.
“The war is not over. The other side has not surrendered; court battles over the cross continue,” Richard Thompson, president and chief counsel of the Thomas More Law Center, said in a news release. Thompson’s group has also been involved in trying to save the cross.


Two Stars Poised to Merge
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Two dense stars whipping around each other at breakneck speed may be the strongest known source of Einstein's space-trembling gravity waves.
The double star – called RX J0806 – was discovered in 1994 in X-rays. Later shown to be blinking on and off every 5.4 minutes, the two-star setup is believed to be a pair of white dwarfs – the dense ashes of burnt-out stars – rotating around each other.

The implied separation is just 50,000 miles – a mere one-fifth the distance between the Earth and the Moon, making this the closest stellar pair ever observed. The tangled duo should be booming out gravity waves – undulations in the fabric of space and time predicted by Einstein's theory of general relativity.
"Those waves have still not been detected directly, but there is indirect evidence," said Tod Strohmayer, who presented the results here last week at a meeting of the American Astronomical Society meeting.
Strohmayer, of NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center, presented data from the Chandra X-ray Observatory that shows the time between the X-ray blips is decreasing by 1.2 milliseconds every year. The implication is that the dwarfs are orbiting faster and faster, as they gradually fall
into each other at a rate of one inch per hour.
This "spin-up" is consistent with rotational energy being lost to gravity waves. The amount of energy radiated in gravity waves in all directions could be 100 times the energy our Sun puts out in light, according to Strohmayer.



In an illegal, untraceable simulcast that surfaced over hundreds of live web feeds, as well as several radio and TV stations worldwide, a burst of the most damning and world-altering data ever exposed in written history was imposed upon the public just days ago. 

In a guerilla-style inundation of news much akin to tactics used by middle-eastern terrorists when attempting the latest western kidnap & execute for attention and political gain, unknown sources bombarded anyone they could get to listen with a flood of personal data claiming  to out an impressive list of known supernaturals of multiple types and races, encompassing a sweeping list of public figures, celebrities and persons in charge.

It was difficult to record the entirety of the broadcast, but savvy web experts and some ham radio and video-philes managed to capture enough of it to analyze. The broadcast purported to expose names, supernatural races, business and social dealings, humans supposedly under their control, known havens and holdings, and other damning material.

The announcement created wide-spread panic, and financial and literal frenzy as many believers of the news scrambled to remove themselves from suspect corporations or other business entities, or stockpile their liquid assets for fear of them being taken over by one of these creatures. Many even took a survivalist tact and raided local stores of supplies before abandoning work and school and leaving town, in a repeat of the drama of the Black November blackout of 2004.

Local law enforcement as well as the National Guard have been mobilized, and there is a call for Martial Law to be declared. Most major cities in the U.S. reported similar incidents to the vampire outing in DC, the media being flooded with reports of various supernatural events. Media sources are overrun with trying to sort out the hoaxes and hysteria from the more credible reports, and many news desks are being used as a modern day witch hunt to out innocent people for more petty, non-supernatural motives.

The Post has obtained a reasonably intact copy of the terrorist broadcast from Haines Point, DC, as well as similar footage from Baltimore, Philadelphia, Savannah, Nashville, and Myrtle Beach, all of which are available for review on our web site.



TAMMY FAYE BAKKER (MESSNER) OUTED AS VAMPIRE BY EX-HUSBAND, DISGRACED TV PREACHER JIM BAKKER -- CHARLOTTE, NC -- Former Assembly of God televangelist Jim Bakker, of the PTL Club, has informed the media that earlier stories of his ex-wife's colon and lung cancers over the last couple of years, were actually an insidious cover-up to protect the secret that she had somehow been punished by God and cursed by being turned into a vampire.

The heavy makeup, the use of which she was vilified for defending, became in fact necessary to disguise the fact that her skin was a dead, mottled grey color ever since her conversion. She also underwent chemotherapy treatments to further enhance the charade that her changing condition was due to a normal illness her followers would understand.

Mr. Bakker (shown here with second wife Lorie) states that his ex-wife's appearances on an MTV reality show with numerous celebrities of questionable character (porn stars, washed up cheesecake actors and rappers), and her subsequent befriending of and inspiration to them, were all part of the ruse, and unsurprising given some of the filth the cable channel produces every year.

Mrs. (Bakker) Messner's representatives simply state that Mr. Bakker's sad claims are out of resentment for the divorce, and of her healing and successes since she left him and his sexual and financial web of corruption. They further state that this is a simple desperate plead for pity and attention at a time when the media otherwise by and large has long ago forsaken him.

Canadian writer Margaret Atwood loosely based her character Serena Joy in the novel The Handmaid's Tale on Tammy Faye.


Vampire Don Henry Outed As Fake Vampire On Live TV... By Real Ones!


NEW YORK, New York -- MTV reality show cast member Don Henry, who insisted that he is a real vampire, is debunked by a small coterie who seemed to be the real deal, given that they demonstrated real-time, un-debunkable powers to and upon the audience and film crew, before dispatching the would-be creature of the night live on a late night talk show in New York.

A group of 4-5, diversely clad people of various ages and nationalities, crashed the set of Bad Bad World, demanding to speak to the self-styled vampire don.

His detractors lapsed quickly into a heated argument, which involved one of the members apparently successfully mentally dominating staff and audience members into not interfering; shape shifting and combat in inhuman forms, invulnerability to normal weapons, turning to mist and disappearing, etc.

There were over 200 witnesses who swear that the antics were not staged, and could only be explained by accepting that they did, in fact, happen as they appeared to have done.

The "True Sanguinarians", as they dubbed themselves, told staffers who questioned them as they were leaving, that Don Henry was "more fruit bat than vampire bat," and that they considered his removal to be a public service. Overloaded police were unable to respond to apprehend or pursue Henry's killers, and they remain at large.

The Producers of Bad Bad World and Viacom (owner of MTV) have been served with a class action lawsuit for suffering on behalf of the audience members; however, due to recent events which suggest that such occurrences were in fact real supernatural events and impossible to predict, the courts would not even agree to place the suit on the jammed dockets at this time.



Domino's Pizza founder wants to build new town with 'Catholic values' to save faithful from Apocalypse

Ave Maria, Florida -- After reading Mere Christianity by Christian author C.S. Lewis in 1989, Monaghan was shaken by what he considered his sinful pride and ego. He took two years off from Domino's to examine his life and explore religious goals.


If you could build a town from scratch, what would it look like?  Tom Monaghan, the founder of Domino‘s Pizza, wants a towering Roman Catholic Church at the center of his proposed new town.  He also prefers people who have the same religious beliefs as he does.  He wants them to move into his aptly named Ave Maria, Florida. 


NAPLES, Fla., /PRNewswire/ -- Thomas Monaghan, Chancellor of Ave Maria University, and Paul Marinelli, President and Chief Executive Officer of the Barron Collier Companies today issued a joint statement regarding the town of Ave Maria, Florida. The town is being developed by Ave Maria Development, LLLP, a partnership between the Barron Collier Companies (BCC) and Mr. Monaghan. Barron Collier is the managing partner. The statement is as follows:
"This statement is intended definitively to correct a growing misperception that Ave Maria, Florida is to be a Catholic town, controlled by Tom Monaghan. It is the partners' desire to have the town based on traditional family values.

"Although the adjoining University is a Catholic institution, the town will be open to all -- regardless of age, religion or race. We envision Ave Maria as a hometown for today -- vital and self-sustaining, a place where friendships span generations, a sense of community prevails, and traditional family values are held dear by people no matter what their faith, walk of life or stage of life.
"Ave Maria, Florida will fully abide by the United States and State of Florida constitutions, and takes great pride that it will enable the realization of the American dream for so many students, families, retirees and business owners," claims Monaghan.

Monaghan had originally sought to establish the Ave Maria University in Ann Arbor, at Domino's Farms, the large corporate office park that he owned and leased to Domino's Pizza. Local officials refused to approve the zoning change, forcing him to look elsewhere for a site. Eventually community leaders in Collier County, Florida, offered him a large site thirty miles east of Naples, Florida to develop the university.
In February 2006, ground was broken for the new university and town, Ave Maria, Florida. Monaghan controls all commericial real estate in the town, and plans to build 11,000 homes in the town, an oratory, and several businesses. Monaghan has said that any pharmacies doing business in the town will not be allowed to sell contraceptives, a statement which has drawn fire from the ACLU.



Hungry Michigan Wolves Turning on Each Other

By John Flusher, AP Writer


TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. - Gnawing leisurely on the remains of a moose carcass, the wolf pack's alpha male seemed unaware that mortal danger was coming ever closer.

Suddenly the eight-member rival pack burst into view. The alpha scrambled to his feet, but too late. Howling and barking, the enemy chased him down and mercilessly attacked, killing the hapless victim within a couple of minutes.

The rival pack's brazen invasion of another's territory was a sign — the wolves are hungry. The reason is a steady decline of moose, now at their lowest ebb in the 48 years that scientists have studied the two species in Isle Royale's closed environment.

The Chippewa Harbor pack is "done for" if it fails to find a strong replacement for the alpha male and loses its alpha female, he said.

"The others would disperse. Some would join other packs, some would starve," Vucetich said. "It's a live by the sword, die by the sword kind of thing."








Missing Actress Located At Local Hospital, Reunited With Husband -- Dulles, VA -- Nextel EVP Jonathan Seaverson is elated to report that his wife, upcoming actress and model Naomi Silverthorn (Seaverson), was rescued from the scene of an accident involving their BMW a few weeks ago, but was unable to identify herself for several days due to lack of ID and short term memory loss caused by a head injury sustained in the crash.

Naomi is currently recovering at home, and should resume filming a TV Pilot for Capital Casting next month.







DCPD Officer Takes Own Life At Homeless Confrontation On Route 1 -- Alexandria, VA -- DCPD Office Mike Candle, already in the news recently for the cocaine prank played on his personal vehicle at music venue Web of Night, took his own life in a standoff with homeless squatters in a church somewhere in the Route 1 Hybla Valley area of Alexandria.

Sources say that a large and well armed team of SWAT officers were led to the church by Candle, bearing a warrant and acting on a purported anonymous tip that the condemned structure was vandalized by squatters, possibly running a drug lab.

According to police reports, which are unfortunately vague and poorly documented, responding officers found a small group of vagrants inside, clearly living there. Officers searched the entire building, and turned up a few minor suspicious items, but no drug lab. The squatters claimed to be on some manner of religious retreat.

Officer Candle pulled aside a swarthy, Arabic looking gentleman, and took him outside to speak to him in private. The man and Officer Candle got into a heated discussion, resulting in Candle drawing his gun. The man was seemingly unarmed, and put his finger into the barrel of the gun.

Officer Candle fired his weapon, shooting the man's fingertips off, and then turned the gun on himself, placing the barrel into his own mouth and pulling the trigger in front of his entire squad. The police vacated the church, surrounding Officer Candle and the man he was questioning. Police gathered up Officer Candle's body to rush him to DC General, while the other man declined medical attention on religious grounds.

Officers claim to in fact be unable to relocate the Church or remember the name of it for follow-up investigations, nor is there any public record of such a building in that neighborhood. Police have scant records of two other 9-1-1 calls to the area, for street shootings and gang violence, one of which required ambulance attention, but are unsure of the exact location of either incident.








While Katherine Whittier is on assignment covering hard news, the Gossip Section is on hiatus.








BOMB SHELTER WANTED: 10 ft x 10 ft Bomb shelter kit for upcoming apocalypse. Must be able to install underground. Steel core surrounded by concrete, preferred. Can haul. Call Martin, (202) 555-1447.


ARE YOU SAVED? - Every person should have their escape route planned, as the world is falling into the apocalypse foretold by Revelations. Where will you go? What place will be safe from the beasts that have overrun our world? Nowhere except in the arms of God Almighty.

Repent now, and your soul will be saved! It's not too late for Salvation! Joins us during these last nights at The First Apostolic Church of the Lion of God, 486 South Kensington Street, Suite B, Arlington.


PERSONALS - "What Ever Happen To.....have you noticed your loved ones missing? And the police won't do anything about it, or claim they can't? How about missing celebs like Anya Star and Marx Engle? DJ Mini-Me? Sean Brennan and the staff of the Phantasm? Sable Valentine of the now-defunct Hush?

Have you seen the Angel of Death shock rock music video? That's no STUNT!

The disappearance of dozens of people in this city, famous and not, isn't just a freak occurrence. The Demons are taking the souls of our Loved ones! There is darkness in this city, a great evil that lurks right around the corner. Be careful!"