11th Hour IC News February 15th, 2007

(News graphic & background designed by Nysie)

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LOCAL NEWS

ST. ELIZABETH'S STAFF GAINS NOUVEAU NEVEU

WASHINGTON, DC -- In the wake of recent controversy over security procedures at St. Elizabeth's Hospital, some staffing changes have been made and security protocols strengthened.

Amongst the recent changes, the Youth Ward has hired a Dance Therapist, Ms. Jezebel Neveu, Master of Arts in Dance Therapy, University of Maryland College Park.

Dance Movement Therapy was pioneered at St. Elizabeth's back in the 1940s, and is based on the premise that the body and mind are linked, and that some more subtle irregularities with one can lead to diagnoses of the other.

In contrast to artistic dance, which is usually concerned with the aesthetic appearance of movement and artistic excellence of the final product as media, dance therapy explores the nature of all movement. Through observing and altering the kinesthetic movements of a client, dance movement therapists diagnose and help solve various psychological problems.

Ms. Neveu will be working with psychologically troubled in-patient teens, coordinating various modern popular dance exercises as part of their weekly therapy.

She is originally from Durham, North Carolina, and currently resides in Point of Rocks, Maryland.

Presidents Day Does Not Exist!

WASHINGTON, DC -- Presidents Day (or President's Day), is a commonly used, but erroneous, name for the federal holiday officially designated as Washington's Birthday. It is also the official name of a concurrent state holiday celebrated on the same day in a small number of states. George Washington's Birthday is celebrated as a federal holiday on the third Monday in February. It is one of eleven permanent holidays established by Congress.
As the official title of the federal holiday, Washington's Birthday was originally implemented by the federal government of the United States in 1880 in the District of Columbia (20 Stat. 277) and expanded in 1885 to include all federal offices (23 Stat. 516). As the first federal holiday to honor an American citizen, the holiday was celebrated on Washington's actual birthday, February 22. On January 1, 1971 the federal holiday was shifted to the third Monday in February by the Uniform Monday Holiday Act. A draft of the Uniform Holidays Bill of 1968 would have renamed the holiday to Presidents' Day to honor both Washington and Lincoln, but this proposal failed in committee and the bill as voted on and signed into law on June 28, 1968 simply moved Washington's Birthday.

Federal holidays apply only to the federal government and the District of Columbia; Congress has never declared a national holiday binding in all states and each state decides its own legal holidays.

In Washington's home state of Virginia the holiday is legally known as "George Washington Day."
Because Presidents Day is not the official name of the federal holiday, there is variation in how it is rendered. Both Presidents Day and Presidents' Day are today common, and both are considered correct by dictionaries and usage manuals. President's Day is a misspelling when used with the intention of celebrating more than one individual; however, as an alternate rendering of "Washington's birthday," or as denominating the commemoration of the presidency as a singular institution, it is a proper spelling.
 

POLICE NEWS

DCPD SHUTS DOWN "LITTLE DEATH" DRUG RING

SOUTHEAST DC --  DCPD, working in conjunction with a team from the DEA, has succeeded in cleaning up the new designer drug "Little Death" from the city of Washington.

Police reports indicate that, aside from missing patients Stuart Dixon and Hank Bukalski still being at large, there is no further new evidence of the drug being sold, new victims being admitted to local hospitals, nor activity near the warehouse in Southeast originally suspected to be connected to it, but later gutted in a local SWAT exercise.

Officers hesitantly say that they believe the menace has been contained and removed.

Police continue to state that if anyone locates Dixon or Bukalski, please do not approach them. Call 911. DCPD is requesting anyone with information to please contact them as soon as possible at Crime Stoppers (202) 555-1000.

The District of Columbia Department of Health Services has completed its investigation of procedures at St. Elizabeth's for any non-compliance or irregularities, and filed its findings with the Board of Health. The Hospital will continue to remain open and in service to the community.

OBITUARIES

Richard "Skip" Davis, Local Attorney, 57

Redmond and Davis founding partner, Richard "Skip" Davis, 57, died of complications following a myocardial infarction in January. Yale Alumni Davis, a lifelong resident of McLean, Virginia, is survived by his wife of 31 years, Margaret Wilson Davis (great-grandniece of President Woodrow Wilson), 3 children, and 10 grandchildren.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to the Skip Davis Memorial Endowed Chair in Law at the George Washington University Foundation.

Davis served in the Army during the Vietnam War, and was awarded the Vietnam Service Medal.

He was also a member of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite of Freemasonry.

Visitation and viewing will be held at Woodlawn Country Club in Washington. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated at the Fort Myer Memorial Chapel, Fort Myer, VA on Tuesday, at 8:45 a.m. Interment with Full Military Honors at Arlington National Cemetery. There may he rest in peace with his heroic American comrades.
 

CLASSIFIED ADS

CHA-CHING! The Modern Sound of Romance
By Blanca Torres
MEDIANEWS STAFF

VALENTINE'S DAY will be easier on Jeremy Jones' wallet this year. He's "off the hook" since he bought his wife, Jaime, an expensive watch for Christmas.
That means he's only responsible for dinner, champagne, flowers and a card. That is unlike other years when he was more extravagant, such as the time he sent her flowers every day for a week leading up to Valentine's Day. "She works in an office," said Jones, who is 27 and lives in Concord. "Everybody got to see it."
Some people say Valentine's Day has become just another reason to spend money. They may be right.
Americans are expected to spend nearly $17 billion on Valentine's Day this year to romance their sweethearts, a 23 percent increase compared with $13.7 billion last year, according to the National Retail Federation.

But, does that mean there is more love in the air than years past? No, experts said. Consumers are just more willing to spend. The reasons vary from having more disposable income to social pressure to prove how much someone cares via gifts and fancy dinners.
The National Retail Federation estimates that about 63 percent of consumers celebrate Valentine's Day with the average person spending $119.67. The occasion ranks third in consumer spending after winter holiday shopping and back-to-school shopping.
"The trend has more to do with disposable incomes and more to do with the effectiveness of retailers to persuade people to buy more," said Daniel Howard, a marketing professor at Southern Methodist University's Cox School of Business in Dallas. "It's not because people care more about their loved ones this year than last year."

© Southern Methodist University, Dallas TX 75205, 214-768-2000

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

'Vampires' take bite of woman's savings!

Reuters - Palermo, Italy - An Italian couple stole 50,000 Euros from a woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them.
The man, a cabaret singer, and his girlfriend took the money from their victim over four years by selling her pills at 3,000 Euros each that they said would abort the Anti-Christ's son.
Police uncovered the fraud after the 47-year-old woman's family became concerned when they discovered she had spent all her savings, local news agencies AGI and ANSA reported.
 

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

From regular columnist Kitty Whittier 

Welcome back, my pretties. Seems all's quiet on the Eastern front, for the most part, a change of pace for this high-stepping town, but perhaps this will give me time to run out and purchase some last minute valentines.

I've got a confession to make, gentle readers. Yours truly has a guilty pleasure of late, secretly behind closed doors, in her slinky things and robe, indulging in the Jerry Springer of UFO Chasers, Nyx's Call-in show, Midnight Dreams, on WBDE 93.1 The Blade, with the good shhh...

If you haven't had a chance to catch this act yet, it's Wednesday nights at midnight, with a repeat show on Saturday afternoons at 4:00.

Scully and Mulder couldn't be more proud of our intrepid investigator, weeding through the nut jobs in search of that one pearl of supernatural truth. The show clearly targets the collegiate and Gen Y audience but there's a homegrown sincerity to it that is compelling. Calls range from phobias and strange phenomena to conspiracy theories and cover-ups.

Reminds me a bit of the Men in Black getting their leads from the Enquirer, but who knows? Maybe the kid is onto something. And ladies, rumor has it he's actually single, and cute in that sort of Ashton Kutcher, rumpled, take him home and make him metrosexual, kind of way. Makes you almost forget all about that unpleasant little happening on the Ghost Tour back in October '06...

From cover-ups, to uncovering things, let's take a page from the Double Lives section for our next topic. Seems that recently appointed Saint Lizzie's dance therapist Bell Neveu was, until just this month, providing sexual healing for a much older demographic down in Midtown at a Gentleman's (and I use the term loosely, naturellement) Club called Camelot. Not that I suppose there is anything wrong with this in principle; I've been told the dancers there can make respectable money.

Some of my Y-chromosomed sources tell me that Miz Neveu's bye-bye performance was not your usual fare at a pole danceteria. There were four numbers she presented, in a package performance entitled, "The Evolution of Man." No, I've been told this is not typical. The first number was some manner of Tron-like futuristic rave number to the song, "Stainless Steel Providers" by the Revolting Cocks (I guess all the good band names are finally used up.) The second act, in between one of the regular remaining dancers, was an S&M paean to the James Spader movie, "Secretary," done to "Corporate Slave" by Snog. Clearly this is a presentation that resonates with Washingtonians. The third act was a sort of "Memoirs of a Geisha" number done to "Big in Japan" by Alphaville (thank God someone asked the bouncer for a set list; I have never heard of these songs!), which involved the use of sickle-like weapons called Kamas. And last but not least, the final number was a very primal, primitive dance, done to "The Wild Boys" by Duran Duran, and involved this sort of beachy fire spinning that I am told is called "poi pots."

Fascinating that Neveu would imply that man was evolving from the technological up to the basic and primitive. I imagine the message was far too esoteric for the T&A crowd, but then again this is likely why the career change. I hear this display was apparently impressive enough to command the illustrious Loki in the audience that night. He even tipped.

I just hope there aren't any troubled young men acting up on purpose in hopes of being assigned to her classes.

Until next time, pets... Meow.

ADVICE COLUMN:

Monica Garrett

Dear Monica,

My fiancé has just told me that he is bisexual. He said that he has never told anyone else and has hidden it from me until now. I cried all night. I have many self-esteem problems. He also said that if he were in my shoes, he would end the relationship. However, he is glad that I haven’t. He promises me he will be true. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Aren't I Good Enough For You


Dear Aren't I Good Enough,

First, Both of you need to be tested for HIV. He will always be a risk for you. It is easy to assure a nubile girlfriend that one will never stray. However, nubile girlfriends often change into not so nubile middle-aged women. Then the promise not to stray is much more difficult. I find it interesting that he tells you that if he were you, he would end the relationship. That sounds like a warning to me. If you knowingly marry a bisexual man, don’t be shocked if he acts on it.