11th Hour IC News January 31st, 2010
(News graphic & background designed by Nysie)
Duchess and the Professor Return to Washington
-- Musician Amelia
a.k.a. The Duchess, and her Parapsychology professor husband, Eriond Tekenduis, have return to Washington D.C. after a one year hiatus in England.
Georgetown U. is critical of students' parody publication
NORTHWEST -- Georgetown University officials say they regret the decision of an independent student humor publication to publish an article some students have found to be racist.
Club Physique In Bad Shape
NORTHEAST -- Club Physique, a unisex strip club in Northeast DC, has shuttered its doors not even a year after its grand opening.
The poor economy was cited as the main reason for the closure, according to Daniel Christiansen, co-owner, manager, and occasional dancer.
Christiansen says that he will most likely write off his investment and begin exploring other business opportunities outside of Washington. The Washington area has fared better than many cities in the depressed economy, but businesses tied to governmental contracting are the main ones to survive in the area.
Club Physique's dancers have moved on to other clubs or other careers.
TerraTech USA Closes, goes back to Europe – Nightclub New Eden Sold
ANNAPOLIS, MD -- TerraTech CEO Vander Soulridge has sold all of his American holdings, including Warrenton, VA and Baltimore, MD, and returned to his native Hungary, taking what remains of TerraTech, the Environmental Conservation Company, with him. Soulridge could not be reached for questioning, and his public relations officer, Nicole Harrington, only said that the company was going through a consolidation to “better serve the public.”
The proceeds for the property’s sale, Wyre said “will go to those who need it the most.” Wyre refused any further comment. She has since re-enlisted in the military, where she formerly served in the Marines for several years, before she became the head of security for TerraTech and Soulridge’s domestic partner after her tour of duty ended. Major Wyre is said to have reported for duty in Afghanistan sometime near Christmas.
Local Psychiatrist finally returns to medicine after suspected MDMA prank in Dark Asgard
SOUTHEAST -- It has taken over a year for Dr. Moira Reynolds to get her medical license reinstated, after a high-publicity scene in Dark Asgard last year. According to court records and reports from colleagues, it was believed that someone may have slipped MDMA. also known as “Ecstasy” or “X,” into her drink while at a local night club, as a prank. The psychiatrist and another club patron, musician Azazel Sevren, were arrested at musician Loki's nightclub Dark Asgard, after a lewd public sexual display while still in the club.
Local Racer Makes Good
SOUTHEAST -- Local NASCAR Rookie Francesca "Torque" Torquemada of Washington, DC, and her crew are already planning for next Saturday's showdown at the Stater Brothers 300. It will be held at the California Speedway, just outside of Los Angeles, Calif.
Off-road she currently drives a mock Grand Nat that she hand-built up from her mother's junked Buick, with the help of an ex-boyfriend who owned his own shop. She is currently single and spends her off-wheel time in Southeast DC.
Local Dojo Fails to Reopen
NORTHWEST -- A local mixed-martial arts dojo, Steel & Rain, which had relocated from its humble beginnings in Southeast DC to a tonier clientele in vicinity of the Embassy Row area, sadly may have been yet another local business to be strangled by the struggling economy and failure to be relevant to government contracting bids.
The dojo purchased a new site in Northwest and began construction over a year ago, but financial problems and issues with local crime delayed the opening. The mixed-use building was refurbished and code-approved back in the spring, but failed to open for business. Most of the staff has moved on and current tax records show the building is owned by a small DC holding company, whose contact information is the dojo itself. A young woman answered the company phones but asserted that she did not know where anyone else was.
The manager, who was listed as "Steel Reaper" (most likely a sort of stage moniker for the martial arts circuit), is currently whereabouts unknown, but has not been reported as missing to police.
Washington Star-News Editor ends Texas hiatus
MIDTOWN -- Family commitments required Washington Star-News Editor in Chief Laura Bauer to leave her home in D.C. and return to Texas last year, but those matters have been addressed and Bauer is returning to the helm of the Star-News in early 2010.
Bauer is a Texas native, born in the small, southern Texas town of New Braunfels, and attended college at Texas State University in San Marcos. After graduation, she moved to D.C to take a job at the Washington Star-News, and quickly proved her talents, soon rising to editor. A while later, she began dating a UN translator, Jesadan bel Ackesh, whom she met in DC. They now have a set of twins together.
Last September, Bauer’s father suffered a heart attack which forced her, bel Ackesh, and their children to relocate to Texas to be with her family and help manage her father’s 600 acre cattle ranch until other arrangements could be made.
The couple was married March 2009, in Texas, in a mixed culture ceremony (Hindi and Lutheran) attended by her family, as well as his from London. The family is en route to resettling in Washington this month.
MAISON DU DOULEUR DUE FOR SECOND REOPENING, MINUS ONE
-- Closed for the last year and a half, the
Maison du Douleur (House of Pain) will be reopening its doors, minus one Valentine Maralov.
Del'Armigo and Maralov, in an attempt to reconcile, reshuttered the American shop and sequestered themselves in her home in Paris, but rumors from Europe say that Maralov still could not remain faithful.
The Maison was originally run by Monsieur Jean Claude de Perdue and Madame Del'Armigo some years ago. It was an entertainment venue that catered to "fetishes" in a non-sexual fashion.
In 2001, de Perdue fell ill, and Lorelei and he went to Paris, closing The Maison for the first time. Del'Armigo returned to Washington without Mssr. de Perdue and re-opened in 2008, only to be swept into a showy personal drama that shut the doors once more.
The Maison itself is a large house on several acres of land in Loudoun County, that sees clients by vetted private appointment. The house is modeled after a plantation style home, and has cabins and a barn. Private parties are available.
News of the second re-opening has sparked a small controversy in some of the neighboring gentrified HOA enclaves, with picketing protesters from local religious groups as well as attempts to revoke or alter the Maison's zoning to disallow the club to reopen.
DC Police Chief Retires Early, Leaves Spot Vacant with Little Death Still Alive
MIDTOWN -- Lieutenant Barry Linden of the DCPD took an early retirement package this past summer, officially citing budget concerns, personal health reasons, and frustration with his department's inability to solve the "Little Death" drug frenzy that had wreaked so much havoc in Southeast and occasional elsewhere in the city. There have been unconfirmed rumors that Linden was asked to step down and a new Chief will have to be appointed as soon as possible, one whom the city hopes will find a way to crack the Little Death drug operation.
Linden was named Chief of the Metropolitan Police Department by DC Mayor Adrian Fenty. He officially assumed the leadership position on January 2, 2007. On April 3, 2007, members of DC Council approved confirmation.
Chief Linden has spent most of his entire law enforcement career with the Metropolitan Police Department, beginning in 1990. Much of his career has been in uniformed patrol, where he served as Commander of the Fourth District, one of the largest and most diverse residential patrol districts in the city. He also served as the Commanding Officer of the Department's Major Narcotics Branch and Vehicular Homicide Units.
In 2006, the MPDC's Office of Homeland Security and Counter-Terrorism (OHSCT) was created, and Chief Linden was tapped to be its first Commanding Officer. A highly respected professional in the areas of homeland security and community policing, he took the lead role in developing and implementing coordinated counter-terrorism strategies for all units within the MPDC and launched Operation TIPP (Terrorist Incident Prevention Program).
Linden's last day is Friday, February 5th, after which he will be retiring to the Eastern Shore of Maryland with his wife, Margaret, "...if I can get the moving van out there in all this snow," he joked with press last week.
Pianist/Vocalist Sandburg disappears right after big return.
NORTHWEST -- Pianist/Vocalist Annika Sandburg, Minnesota native and D.C. resident, disappeared in late December 2008, shortly after the news of her boyfriend, Azazel Sevren’s, sexual encounter with psychiatrist Dr. Moira Reynolds in Dark Asgard. Her pet cat has also vanished.
is also missing and is listed as a “person of interest” in the case.
No family have come forward to report him missing, but he has never
returned to their apartment.
Sandburg’s parents have flown to D.C. on several occasions, to look over evidence from the now-empty Georgetown apartment the couple shared, but there have not been any new leads on the singer’s whereabouts. Sandburg is thought to have other relatives in the D.C. area who have not come forward.
Police ask anyone with information to please contact the local branch office of the DCPD or the Anonymous Tip Line.
Actroid Actress Pinched from Smithsonian Demo
NORTHEAST -- Kokoro Company Ltd. (the animatronics division of Sanrio), reported that a new and unique prototype of their now-famous Actroid humanoid robots was reported stolen from a special holding location on the grounds of the Smithsonian Museum.
Museum officials confirmed that the Actroid, a humanoid robot with strong visual human-likeness developed by Osaka University and manufactured by Kokoro Company Ltd. (the animatronics division of Sanrio) was on loan to the Museum of Natural History after Actroid technology saw much success in New York being used to mimic extinct animals for demonstrations.
The Actroid was first unveiled at the 2003 International Robot Exposition in Tokyo, Japan. Several different versions of the product have been produced since then. In most cases, the robot's appearance has been modeled after an average young woman of Japanese descent.
The Actroid woman is a pioneer example of a real machine similar to imagined machines called by the science fiction terms android or gynoid, so far used only for fictional robots. It can mimic such lifelike functions as blinking, speaking, and breathing. The "Repliee" models are interactive robots with the ability to
recognize and process speech and respond in kind.
The prototype, called the Actroid DER 7, was experimental and its loss has set back android research for years. The prototype was removed out of storage by forced entry. No suspects have yet been named, though there are unconfirmed rumors of corporate espionage being responsible. Anyone with information that leads to the return of the prototype is eligible for a monetary reward from co-creator roboticist Hiroshi Ishiguro, who is very eager not to lose valuable research and information the android contains.
Police ask anyone with information to please contact the local branch office of the DCPD or the Anonymous Tip Line.
White Americans' majority to end by mid-century
By HOPE YEN, Associated Press Writer
Police: Brazil boy stuck with needles for a ritual
Entertainment and Gossip
From regular columnist
January gray is here,
like a sexton by her grave;
February bears the bier,
March with grief doth howl and rave,
and April weeps -- but, O ye hours!
Follow with May's fairest flowers.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Yes, my lovelies, I am tired of winter too, and they say more is still coming. So let's keep warm by the fires of faux pas and distract one another with the antics of others...
Things had become so quiet last year that I thought perhaps there'd been a spell put upon our fair city, but of late things seems to be somewhat looking up.
We may as well start the new year off with a bang, just like our star player Loki seemed to have done last year, right under everyone's noses. Apparently one of his long list of paramours finally caught up to him with a little surprise. Not so little any more, as his illegitimate daughter is growing by leaps and bounds just as you'd expect a baby to do. Our math majors can tell that he certainly didn't let the bed get cold after Barista/Barrister Barbie, a.k.a. Felicity Duckworth, ran screaming out of it to take the bar. Details are spotty for now, but it seems as if there is a typical Hollywood legal battle over custody and support and all that fun, and lawyers at 20 paces, as the trickster god's elder, daddy dearest, reaches across the pond and gets involved for once in his life. The mother is currently unidentified, though my customary thank you extends to anyone willing to rectify this. The daughter's name has not been released but I feel it isn't sporting to go after those who aren't old enough to defend themselves, so we will move on from that juicy but verboten tidbit. We do wonder, though, if her coming into Loki's life has to do with a donated network upgrade he arranged for, benefiting Stand Up for Kids of Washington. We're not sure what to make of rumors of YouTube footage of him molesting another barista from the Word, nor of the comings and goings of an unnamed young lady who seems too young even for our reigning lothario. Sends a bad message to the judge when in a custody battle.
We are a bit disappointed to learn that Steel Reaper's dojo came and went, without a reunion performance of his old band. I did get that preview CD months ago and it was good reading for the coffeehouse crowd. Shame he never did a gig at the Word or anything. He just pulled a Howard Hughes on us one day last year.
A lovely across-the-pond welcome back to The Duchess and her Professor, as they retake the Harry Potter set by storm, having returned and resumed their proprietorship of the Word. No word, so to speak, as of yet, as to The Duchess's latest aural antics, but no doubt we shall hear soon.
It is probably a good thing that Club Physique is now Club Dead, considering that all that taking off of clothes is not really in season right now due to the weather. We didn't have the pleasure of evaluating their offerings, which may be indicative of their fate.
We are dying of curiosity about another defunct venue however, and that would be the mystery savior of the building where once stood that homage to Fritz Lang and Dante's Inferno, New Eden DC, courtesy of the now un-expatriated Vander Soulridge, who closed up shop after one peccadillo too many and tucked tail for Eastern Europe last summer. Gotta give credit to Miz Wyre for her graceful egress though; class act to the bitter end. The building could have been lovely with the volume turned back to a tasteful 3 or 4, and perhaps the new owners will take the hint and come up with something that isn't trying so damned hard to be a Disney version of Heaven and Hell.
Another returning member of our cast is the fascinating Doctor Reynolds, whose hijinx hopefully were halted while on her hiatus. Date rape drugs are no laughing matter, and whoever was responsible, I hope they like jumpsuits and cots.
Speaking of many happy returns, we are all thrilled to welcome back our Editor in Chief Bauer (or is it bel Ackesh now?) and her lovely husband and twins to Washington. The ship will sail true with her at the helm, no doubt.
Just to keep things balanced, we have had a couple of notable disappearances as well. Pianist and singer Annika Sandburg is still no doubt waiting for the third time to be the charm in her off-again, on-again, off-again career and personal life. No doubt the now-faded drama with boyfriend drummer Azazel left a bitter taste in her mouth. Or, well, someone's mouth. And Croatian horror writer Janko Karovic left DC in silent disgrace after his 2009 novel, Children of a Silent God, was panned by American critics and overshadowed by competitors Laurell K. Hamilton. Charlaine Harris, Keri Arthur and MaryJanice Davidson. I just think that housewives have enough vampires to pretend to succumb to already, and a Scottish anti-hero private eye just wasn't unique enough to overshadow Anita and Edward. Shiny and underage looking still seems to be en vogue for the supernatural set.
Speaking of things supernatural, DC's own Orson Wells protégé, DJ Nyx from 93.1 The Blade, has returned with a new shiny radio show, after the messy lawsuit from last year when he investigated a haunted hotel at their request and ended up exposing them as a fraud. We hope he's gotten a bit braver. For a while there we feared that his hosting that last Haunted Washington Halloween Tour might have broken him. Oh dear, I seem to have mentioned more reappearances.
Speaking of reappearances, there'd better be one of my driveway soon.
Ciao now, snow plow. Meow.
Loki and Dancer Neveu Reinvent Evolution
by The Weekender Magazine
SOUTHEAST -- Yet another side project for shock rocker Loki, this time a collaborative multimedia work with a local dance therapist, Bell Neveu.
Entitled "Evolution of Man", there seemed to be an indicting message as the four-segment work went progressively from futuristic to primitive.
Neveu performed the dance portions of the work, set to original music and lyrics by Loki, live at a one-night only review at Dark Asgard. The completed work from the studio was available on DVD and Blu-ray that night, and later through Amazon.com.
MAISON DE DOULEUR IS CURRENTLY HIRING A RECEPTIONIST (MIDNIGHT - 8 AM),
AND ENTERTAINERS WHO SPECIALIZE IN BONDAGE THEMES.
CONTACT LORELEI DEL`ARMIGO
AT (540) 555-1007